Parenting Bloopers

Bloopers. The stuff that ends up on the editing floor, the photos that do not make it on social media, the moments in life that will mess up the image we want to portray, the stuff we don't want to blog about, and hopefully the stuff that we will laugh about later.

That is where we are in parenting right now. It seems like consecutive moments of stuff that should end up on the editing floor of our parenting legacy. Coming up on ages six, four, and two, are trying times for us. It's not like we haven't had trying times before. Perhaps it's the small space for big explosions to occur or that we can walk out of our door and suddenly I feel like all the neighbors (especially the ones that just moved in that day....first impressions of The Lunsfords) can immediately witness and judge our parenting.

But really I think this would be the case in any scenario. We are in the best scenario for us after all. We are living out a dream that we truly thought would stay just a dream. The environment that I described in "Home in Heber" is as wonderful as the description, Our life could not be more simplified...well we could be Amish...but as simple as we are going to get. I feel calmer, we have more quality family time than ever, we are surrounded by beauty. This should all add up to peace and tranquility in our home.

The trip to the reservoir should not end up with everyone in tears. The excursion to the waterfall should not make me suddenly feel all too responsible for little life to the point of not enjoying the beauty around me. Do marshmallows at night plus allowing the kids to stay up to see the stars really have to lead us to near exhaustion putting the kids to bed?  The trips to the grocery store, eating out in restaurants, preparing for the day, naptimes, bedtimes, eating period, no meaning no, and stop meaning stop, whining, crying, volume period, sibling rivalry, training, discipline, disagreements about discipline, sleep, personal time, marriage time, spiritual time.....it is so hard right now. It seems to be so difficult at times that I have to wonder... is it us? are we making this harder than it has to be? maybe we are imagining it?

But I have to realize that these are the bloopers. The same stuff that you want to take out of the movie, but inevitably the stuff that cracks you up in the end and that you hang onto so you can show what it took to make the movie. Who doesn't love a show with bloopers at the end?

If you ask my children about their time at the lake, they don't even remember anyone getting upset or crying. They remember the sand castles and the cold water tickling their toes. They cannot tell you one thing about their bedtime after smores and star gazing. My children think going to the grocery store with mom is an event, and they look forward to it being on the "to do" list.

As I look back at this time last year, I am reminded of some major bloopers with our middle child that came unexpectedly when we took away her pacifier. Suddenly, an onslaught of sensory issues appeared. Bedtime became a process that we dreaded each night, getting ready to leave the house created anxiety, and getting dressed was an effort. I was not prepared, and I know I handled it very, very poorly. Until, I received the tools I needed to understand and help Jocelyn. Remembering that time, the bloopers of the past, and then seeing where we are today spur me on to keep going and keep learning and keep apologizing when I get it wrong. 

So right now, amidst all the change and activity and newness of our adventure, it feels like we are facing an uphill climb in parenting each day. But the final cut of years past prove that there has been fruit from the trials. I suspect that some of our bloopers have ended up on a stranger's social media page, and I will not be surprised if I find our family with a witty caption on a group page one day. I have seen what others consider the result of bad parenting from social media commentary. If that day ever happens, then I hope I will be able to laugh at it and remember it when we turn the corner of the trial that we are having with that child or with ourselves as parents. Or perhaps I will beat them to it and be brave enough to share the blooper reel myself. 

Please Mommies, take a moment and look back and see how far you and your children have come. Bloopers and all. Whether you are traveling full-time and wondering if you made the right decision for your family, or questioning the school you did or did not put you child into, or having to apologize for your outburst from yesterday. You can look back and see the footsteps moving forward. There will be some steps backwards as well, but our children are learning and so are we. 

Home in Heber

Heber is less than an hour away from Salt Lake City, but that trip up Provo Canyon or Parley's Canyon warps us into new and different territory. It's small travel time with big benefits and big temperature changes. 

The Move

     Seasoned Full-Timers are probably giggling at us making much of moving our fifth wheel from one location to another. We have never attempted this before, so it was a right of passage for us into full time RVing. Our fifth wheel was delivered to our campground two months earlier. The truck was purchased two weeks before moving and the hitch installed four days before. We were able to get everything ready that morning in just under two hours (with 3 littles, that's a record!). 
     All glass was wrapped and decor removed from the walls.  It took quite a bit of effort and some neighborly assistance to squeeze out of our spot without hitting anything. That's the great thing about all our friendly neighbors! A few things still ended up broken (glass is not really necessary for framed pictures, right?) and the floor was scratched pretty badly. Time for a rug to add a splash of color. All in all pretty uneventful. The great news is that we get to complete an even smaller move next week to an end spot that just opened up, giving us a lot of space and privacy!

The RV Resort

I cannot say enough about our new home. The neighbors are just as friendly. Shiloh already has a little friend that knocks on our door daily. We have a game room to escape to when our space gets cramped. Fire pits to make an event out of regular evening of dinner and guitar playing.  I have a "tab" at the office so now I get to say things like "just add it to my tab" when I get something at their store. The showers here make an RV shower less inviting, so we choose the Resort showers more often than our own. When Selah is fussy at night we walk around the dimly lit parameter that provides just enough light for safety but allows us to see the sea of stars above us. Last night, Selah and stopped by the outside gas fireplace by the pool and then watched some of the outdoor movie that was playing. We love the staff and are excited to survive the Winter with them. They approached us about moving to an end spot, offered to help us prepare our rig for the cold temps, and have us lined up for potlocks in the clubhouse after the seasonal crowds leave. 

Our Town

   We are adjusting to school travel into Salt Lake two days a week for Jocelyn and for Shiloh locally five days a week (who knew 3 days to 5 days would be such a change!?!). However, the trip down Parley's has greeted us with plenty of scenery and every time there has been at least one hot air balloon in the sky.  Sometimes we pop a DVD in for the drive. But the girls are just as entertained by the leaves changing color and hunting for animals. 
   The Fall weather presents an opportunity for a few wardrobe changes throughout the day. We eat dinner outside or with the windows open, then the furnace kicks on in the middle of the night, jackets are needed in the morning, and then AC for the afternoon. Spending time in the pool requires a warm up in the hottub afterwards. 
     We are surrounded by farmland, one farm has homemade minions waving to us from the fields. The clear,blue skies and the clouds seem like only a leap away. I haven't seen the sky filled with stars like it is here since leaving Tennessee. We are headed to a reservoir one day and then on to a new trail the next . The town, although small, offers a laid back atmosphere that we have been missing. The local eateries, coffee shops, the park, and the library, the biker bar that serves coffee and offers wifi, the timber mill for firewood,even the WalMart...slows down the pace a bit. The 7 days that we have been here, I have not hurried or rushed the kids, and the fear of being late is not the nag that it used to be. 

It seems we have the best mix for us of amenities, nature, and city life. The Winter will bring new challenges, but that is part of the attraction to the lifestyle. Unique situations, strangers that become friends, and plenty of life development opportunities! 

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Ironically, we have moved into a house that we can take anywhere, and we chose to fly to Memphis, Tennessee. The main reason for the visit was to pick up the one missing link for mobility...a truck. We flew the family into Memphis, and then Scott left the next day to drive the truck through the middle of the country back to Utah. The kids and I decided to hang out with friends and family for a week.

There are a few lessons that I learned on this trip. 

As far as travel goes, I hope to never fly again. I am thrilled with the aspect of traveling like a turtle from now on. Everything goes with us, the family is comfortable with their surroundings, and there are no layovers and flight attendants constantly reminding us of the rules and regulations for our children (especially the youngest). I left each visit in Memphis with a big smile on my face reminding everyone that next time we would be bringing our home back with us. I was also reminded of how much driving I had to do when I lived in Memphis. On average we were 40 minutes away from everywhere we needed to go. My kids were troopers in the vehicle, completely in awe of their surroundings and the newness of the landscape. The move coming up will put us approximately 45 minutes from all our "city" activities, and the drive back to our incredible surroundings will be worth it (and doable for the kids.) We will also be preparing little brains for their imaginations to kick into gear for the much longer road trips ahead. 

It is extremely difficult to catch up after being out of state for 9 years with visits only every 1-2 years. Two or more hours just isn't enough time to understand all that has changed for my friends and family, and for me to explain all the goings on for me. My children understand that we are visiting important people in our lives, but they don't quite grasp why they are so important. I am thankful for Facebook so that I can keep up  with some of those key moments in lives that matter to me, and to have pics to remind my children of the people that we met in Memphis. I was able to meet up with one instrumental person to our complete lifestyle change, and all communication was done via Facebook. Her and her family's bold choice to move into an RV was viewed through my curious eyes, and the rest is history. 

Going home, going back to my roots, and remembering the past (while blasting 90's music the whole time on the road), allows for a deep inward look into where Scott and I have come from and where we are now. I had a lot of encounters with our past this trip. Although some memories felt like a kick in the gut by having to admit some of my most idiotic choices, they were all experiences that molded me into who I am today. I am amazed at the transformation that Scott and I have gone through. I am amazed that it has us on this journey today. I am amazed at what has occurred in other's lives. Scott and I came to Utah a mess, and left a few others in a mess themselves.  It even got messier after our arrival. I am in awe of the redemption that has taken place. I had no idea how far we had come until remembering where we were. 

This was one single trip back home. I can only imagine what our family will learn as we travel from place to place, depending on each other, depending on the kindness of strangers, and encountering experiences and people that will continue to shape our story.