Community and the Island of Misfits

The overwhelming emotion of our transition into a new lifestyle continues to sneak up on me. This last week, I have been battling with the baby steps we are taking to travel full time. Baby steps that I decided were necessary in order to properly acclimate to the new way of  life. We are 48 minutes, 44.3 miles, and 1268 more above sea level from Salt Lake City. The original plan was to move to Heber, make any commutes necessary, enjoy the scenery, enjoy our top rated RV resort, and maintain our Salt Lake world. That is proving to be unmanageable. The drive does not bother me and our girls. We really enjoy it. However, when I added up the many hours we were on the road each week, I realized this was not the most effective use of my time. Now, as we meet more people in Heber, and fall in love with the area, I feel the pain of baby steps to good-bye. I am slowly minimizing our time in the Salt Lake Valley. The place that we have known as home for 9 years.  The individuals that surrounded us with love and grace during some of the worst trials of our lives. And honestly, the people that made this all possible. I am faced with the gut wrenching reality of a long good bye to lifelong friends, and the future of the many good-byes to come. And that is perfect soil for doubt...lots and lots of doubt.

Within the RV community, it is an understood adjustment to get close fast and say simple good-byes. However, when venturing out from that community and enter the world of sticks and bricks, churches, clubs, other areas of socializing, I am realizing that for the next few years we will be building community, leaving it, and rebuilding it over and over and over. We will be finding churches in the areas we go to, we will be putting our children into extracurricular activities, we will join up with groups that enjoy the same hobbies and activities that we do. I am sure there are many soul mates and kindred spirits along our future paths.

In the middle of all these feelly feels that I am feeling (not an overly emotional person, so still not sure how to deal), Scott and I had an interesting encounter at a sticks and bricks gathering. During a potlock in a neighborhood that is walking distance from our RV,  while engaging in conversation there was definitely some obvious disappointment and a kind of brush off because we were not going to be permanent citizens of Heber. 

Then, we had our first "are you crazy, what on earth are you doing" reactions to our lifestyle choice. We were not prepared. In the future, I will be ready with notecards with a quick and easy explanation of our sanity. I could tell Scott was caught off guard and immediately started to defend our upcoming adventure. This person was not seeing the vision at all, so I changed the subject. I am pretty sure if you feel the need to start defending yourself on something that should be a personal choice and not at all controversial, then its probably time to shut down the conversation.

When we got home, it was obvious that Scott and I shared the moment of feeling a bit overexposed and slightly judged or rejected or maybe just confused. We have been feeling genuinely supported for the most part up until this point. There were a few friends that told us they could never adopt this way of living, but that has been the extent of opinions. And those are opinions we understand from people that we love.(Of course this lifestyle is not for everybody.) Why were we taking this stranger's opinion so hard? Why were we taken aback by people that were not really interested in getting to know us on a personal level if we would be leaving next year?  The logical side and the emotional side of my brain are baffled. Doubt is tricky business.

When we returned home to our little house on wheels, we met a woman whose family (husband and two small children) had just adopted the lifestyle and were living in an Airstream. We immediately immersed ourselves in deep conversation about life, finances, raising children, homeschooling, birth, etc. In a matter of 30 minutes. I told her it was so refreshing to speak to her after our evening, because we had our first shock and awe (not in a good way) encounter. She was like "oh yeah, plenty of people think we are crazy" with a nod of her head and flip of her hair. She knew it and she had experienced it, and her confidence in her choice was apparent. I left the conversation telling Scott "this is our community."  Perhaps we are misfits, but we are a happy bunch of misfits. We share so much in such a short amount of time. Friendships build that would normally take months or years to develop, and we get each other. We have a common link of having the bug to do something different and live a simplified life fueled by experiences and building relationships that transcend the bounds of physical location. I let out a sigh of relief as I connected all the dots of my heart tugging week, and settled back into my peace once again with our choice to live out of bounds. 

Parenting Bloopers

Bloopers. The stuff that ends up on the editing floor, the photos that do not make it on social media, the moments in life that will mess up the image we want to portray, the stuff we don't want to blog about, and hopefully the stuff that we will laugh about later.

That is where we are in parenting right now. It seems like consecutive moments of stuff that should end up on the editing floor of our parenting legacy. Coming up on ages six, four, and two, are trying times for us. It's not like we haven't had trying times before. Perhaps it's the small space for big explosions to occur or that we can walk out of our door and suddenly I feel like all the neighbors (especially the ones that just moved in that day....first impressions of The Lunsfords) can immediately witness and judge our parenting.

But really I think this would be the case in any scenario. We are in the best scenario for us after all. We are living out a dream that we truly thought would stay just a dream. The environment that I described in "Home in Heber" is as wonderful as the description, Our life could not be more simplified...well we could be Amish...but as simple as we are going to get. I feel calmer, we have more quality family time than ever, we are surrounded by beauty. This should all add up to peace and tranquility in our home.

The trip to the reservoir should not end up with everyone in tears. The excursion to the waterfall should not make me suddenly feel all too responsible for little life to the point of not enjoying the beauty around me. Do marshmallows at night plus allowing the kids to stay up to see the stars really have to lead us to near exhaustion putting the kids to bed?  The trips to the grocery store, eating out in restaurants, preparing for the day, naptimes, bedtimes, eating period, no meaning no, and stop meaning stop, whining, crying, volume period, sibling rivalry, training, discipline, disagreements about discipline, sleep, personal time, marriage time, spiritual time.....it is so hard right now. It seems to be so difficult at times that I have to wonder... is it us? are we making this harder than it has to be? maybe we are imagining it?

But I have to realize that these are the bloopers. The same stuff that you want to take out of the movie, but inevitably the stuff that cracks you up in the end and that you hang onto so you can show what it took to make the movie. Who doesn't love a show with bloopers at the end?

If you ask my children about their time at the lake, they don't even remember anyone getting upset or crying. They remember the sand castles and the cold water tickling their toes. They cannot tell you one thing about their bedtime after smores and star gazing. My children think going to the grocery store with mom is an event, and they look forward to it being on the "to do" list.

As I look back at this time last year, I am reminded of some major bloopers with our middle child that came unexpectedly when we took away her pacifier. Suddenly, an onslaught of sensory issues appeared. Bedtime became a process that we dreaded each night, getting ready to leave the house created anxiety, and getting dressed was an effort. I was not prepared, and I know I handled it very, very poorly. Until, I received the tools I needed to understand and help Jocelyn. Remembering that time, the bloopers of the past, and then seeing where we are today spur me on to keep going and keep learning and keep apologizing when I get it wrong. 

So right now, amidst all the change and activity and newness of our adventure, it feels like we are facing an uphill climb in parenting each day. But the final cut of years past prove that there has been fruit from the trials. I suspect that some of our bloopers have ended up on a stranger's social media page, and I will not be surprised if I find our family with a witty caption on a group page one day. I have seen what others consider the result of bad parenting from social media commentary. If that day ever happens, then I hope I will be able to laugh at it and remember it when we turn the corner of the trial that we are having with that child or with ourselves as parents. Or perhaps I will beat them to it and be brave enough to share the blooper reel myself. 

Please Mommies, take a moment and look back and see how far you and your children have come. Bloopers and all. Whether you are traveling full-time and wondering if you made the right decision for your family, or questioning the school you did or did not put you child into, or having to apologize for your outburst from yesterday. You can look back and see the footsteps moving forward. There will be some steps backwards as well, but our children are learning and so are we. 

Home in Heber

Heber is less than an hour away from Salt Lake City, but that trip up Provo Canyon or Parley's Canyon warps us into new and different territory. It's small travel time with big benefits and big temperature changes. 

The Move

     Seasoned Full-Timers are probably giggling at us making much of moving our fifth wheel from one location to another. We have never attempted this before, so it was a right of passage for us into full time RVing. Our fifth wheel was delivered to our campground two months earlier. The truck was purchased two weeks before moving and the hitch installed four days before. We were able to get everything ready that morning in just under two hours (with 3 littles, that's a record!). 
     All glass was wrapped and decor removed from the walls.  It took quite a bit of effort and some neighborly assistance to squeeze out of our spot without hitting anything. That's the great thing about all our friendly neighbors! A few things still ended up broken (glass is not really necessary for framed pictures, right?) and the floor was scratched pretty badly. Time for a rug to add a splash of color. All in all pretty uneventful. The great news is that we get to complete an even smaller move next week to an end spot that just opened up, giving us a lot of space and privacy!

The RV Resort

I cannot say enough about our new home. The neighbors are just as friendly. Shiloh already has a little friend that knocks on our door daily. We have a game room to escape to when our space gets cramped. Fire pits to make an event out of regular evening of dinner and guitar playing.  I have a "tab" at the office so now I get to say things like "just add it to my tab" when I get something at their store. The showers here make an RV shower less inviting, so we choose the Resort showers more often than our own. When Selah is fussy at night we walk around the dimly lit parameter that provides just enough light for safety but allows us to see the sea of stars above us. Last night, Selah and stopped by the outside gas fireplace by the pool and then watched some of the outdoor movie that was playing. We love the staff and are excited to survive the Winter with them. They approached us about moving to an end spot, offered to help us prepare our rig for the cold temps, and have us lined up for potlocks in the clubhouse after the seasonal crowds leave. 

Our Town

   We are adjusting to school travel into Salt Lake two days a week for Jocelyn and for Shiloh locally five days a week (who knew 3 days to 5 days would be such a change!?!). However, the trip down Parley's has greeted us with plenty of scenery and every time there has been at least one hot air balloon in the sky.  Sometimes we pop a DVD in for the drive. But the girls are just as entertained by the leaves changing color and hunting for animals. 
   The Fall weather presents an opportunity for a few wardrobe changes throughout the day. We eat dinner outside or with the windows open, then the furnace kicks on in the middle of the night, jackets are needed in the morning, and then AC for the afternoon. Spending time in the pool requires a warm up in the hottub afterwards. 
     We are surrounded by farmland, one farm has homemade minions waving to us from the fields. The clear,blue skies and the clouds seem like only a leap away. I haven't seen the sky filled with stars like it is here since leaving Tennessee. We are headed to a reservoir one day and then on to a new trail the next . The town, although small, offers a laid back atmosphere that we have been missing. The local eateries, coffee shops, the park, and the library, the biker bar that serves coffee and offers wifi, the timber mill for firewood,even the WalMart...slows down the pace a bit. The 7 days that we have been here, I have not hurried or rushed the kids, and the fear of being late is not the nag that it used to be. 

It seems we have the best mix for us of amenities, nature, and city life. The Winter will bring new challenges, but that is part of the attraction to the lifestyle. Unique situations, strangers that become friends, and plenty of life development opportunities! 

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Ironically, we have moved into a house that we can take anywhere, and we chose to fly to Memphis, Tennessee. The main reason for the visit was to pick up the one missing link for mobility...a truck. We flew the family into Memphis, and then Scott left the next day to drive the truck through the middle of the country back to Utah. The kids and I decided to hang out with friends and family for a week.

There are a few lessons that I learned on this trip. 

As far as travel goes, I hope to never fly again. I am thrilled with the aspect of traveling like a turtle from now on. Everything goes with us, the family is comfortable with their surroundings, and there are no layovers and flight attendants constantly reminding us of the rules and regulations for our children (especially the youngest). I left each visit in Memphis with a big smile on my face reminding everyone that next time we would be bringing our home back with us. I was also reminded of how much driving I had to do when I lived in Memphis. On average we were 40 minutes away from everywhere we needed to go. My kids were troopers in the vehicle, completely in awe of their surroundings and the newness of the landscape. The move coming up will put us approximately 45 minutes from all our "city" activities, and the drive back to our incredible surroundings will be worth it (and doable for the kids.) We will also be preparing little brains for their imaginations to kick into gear for the much longer road trips ahead. 

It is extremely difficult to catch up after being out of state for 9 years with visits only every 1-2 years. Two or more hours just isn't enough time to understand all that has changed for my friends and family, and for me to explain all the goings on for me. My children understand that we are visiting important people in our lives, but they don't quite grasp why they are so important. I am thankful for Facebook so that I can keep up  with some of those key moments in lives that matter to me, and to have pics to remind my children of the people that we met in Memphis. I was able to meet up with one instrumental person to our complete lifestyle change, and all communication was done via Facebook. Her and her family's bold choice to move into an RV was viewed through my curious eyes, and the rest is history. 

Going home, going back to my roots, and remembering the past (while blasting 90's music the whole time on the road), allows for a deep inward look into where Scott and I have come from and where we are now. I had a lot of encounters with our past this trip. Although some memories felt like a kick in the gut by having to admit some of my most idiotic choices, they were all experiences that molded me into who I am today. I am amazed at the transformation that Scott and I have gone through. I am amazed that it has us on this journey today. I am amazed at what has occurred in other's lives. Scott and I came to Utah a mess, and left a few others in a mess themselves.  It even got messier after our arrival. I am in awe of the redemption that has taken place. I had no idea how far we had come until remembering where we were. 

This was one single trip back home. I can only imagine what our family will learn as we travel from place to place, depending on each other, depending on the kindness of strangers, and encountering experiences and people that will continue to shape our story. 

Indoors and Outdoors

After reading, 10 Confessions of an Full Time RVer, http://www.doityourselfrv.com/full-time-rving-secrets/, I considered how many of these confessions were true of my family. One that surprised me was how much time we've been spending indoors. However, to contradict that, we are also spending so much more time outdoors.

Before we began, I thought for sure that we would spend all waking hours outside. That has just not been the case. For one thing, it is SO hot in the afternoon. We have a kiddie pool that we fill and wade in from time to time, but 99 and above temps start to drain you after awhile. Scott and I enjoy some cool evening air after the kids go to bed, but relaxing usually involves a DVD before bed. I can no longer send the kids outside in the morning when I clean up after breakfast. Not having a gate has created more problems than I anticipated. I am looking forward to the Fall for cooler temps and the Summer crowds to cut down on the traffic. I believe that will allow for more comfortable outdoor time.

While I am surprised that we are not outside as much as I had originally planned, we also do many more outdoor activities than when we were living in a house. We are still "camping" in the middle of the city, so outdoor activities involve a drive. Efforts to create quality family time is getting us out much more. We have been enjoying hikes and parks more in the last few months than we have living in Utah for several years. We also have the next move looming in the near future. I think we are feeling the "pressure" to experience the Salt Lake Valley and all that it offers before we leave.

It has been a interesting and surreal experience so far. There are many unexpected pros and cons to the lifestyle. Heber will offer new possibilities to explore the outdoors and to get to know the area.  I am excited about the first real move. I am sure the trial and error from that event will involve many learning opportunities as well as plenty to document.

All Kinds of Neighbors

    Ironically, the moment I set up a blog, I found myself too busy to write. Good news, the busyness has been all fun. We have new neighbors for a bit. They have 3 boys, and our little area has become the "happening" spot with 6 kids running around constantly. It was not too much of a surprise when management stopped by to ask for some clean up of our area. I saw that coming when it was just our family. We have been having a really good time.

    We know this is a rare moment. A moment to savor with our kids. While there are many families out there "living the dream," I don't anticipate having them as neighbors very often. 

    Shortly before we received the gift of a kid family as neighbors, there was a couple that pulled up next to us with a dog that was not kid friendly. We were warned immediately about the dog. Coincidentally, I had just read a post in a popular RV group about how inconsiderate it was for parents to let their children throw tantrums around other "campers." I was now faced with the problem of sharing a space with a couple that was obviously going to find my children annoying. I would be lying if the post on the RV group did not already have me hypersensitive to my kids and their behavior.

    While I  believe that neighbors in any situation (RV park or neighborhood) are going to have to compromise and figure out how to keep the harmony regardless of differences, I knew that if given the opportunity to move that I would have. However, moving was not an option. Therefore, I decided for the safety of my children and to allow a few days of vacation for the couple, the kids and I would just find things to do outside of the campground.  We had enjoyed our spot with little incident for many weeks, and this couple should be allowed a few days to enjoy it themselves (they were just as guarded and uncomfortable when the kids and the dog were outside at the same time). 

    The unfriendly dog situation gave me a bit of understanding of how I am affecting someone else's time, whether they have a brief vacation or making a stop on their full time RV adventure. Having to limit when and where my children could play outside certainly caused me some anxiety. It was no one's fault, just an unlikely and uncomfortable match. 

After my second long outing the next day, the neighbors did decide to cut their vacation short and head home early. Perfect timing to make room for our current family friendly neighbors. 

Making the best of a situation that I could not control or change worked out for the best. Really, better than I could have ever imagined.

Living Out of Bounds...

Romans 7:6

But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.

This is the theme for our journey. We hope to have it added to our rig one day. 

I reached a few goals for the group that I set up on Facebook. Therefore, I am finally setting up a blog to continue sharing information and building relationships outside of Facebook. Although FB will still be used to communicate blog updates.

I hope to use this blog to share our journey with those that are desiring to live Out of Bounds themselves and share the highs and lows of the nomadic lifestyle. As well as keep family and friends updated with all that is going on with us. I also hope to improve my writing and story telling skills, so please feel free to critique and offer any helpful criticism. 

In the few weeks that we have been in our RV, building relationships became a goal that we did not expect to become a priority right away. However, this lifestyle proves to have a hint of communal living in it. I am excited for the relationships we have already built in a short time among our physical RV community as well as those in the cyber world that have helped us along the way. I hope that blogging will serve as another tool for growing those relationships as we all travel our personal journeys.