Soulful Living in New England

"Connecticut spans just 110 miles from east to west. And 70 miles from north to south. But across our diverse yet compact regions, you'll find everything you need to both unplug - and recharge!"

http://www.ctvisit.com/


Connecticut has offered us a collection of cherished experiences. I took a walk with the girls around the campground, and they rattled off memory after memory of our weeks here. Scott is continually working long hours, and we are living in stressful, tense moments. There is an indescribable exhaustion that comes from the life of a hard working dad and a homeschooling mama.

But....Sunday is always coming. And we have taken full advantage of the gift of our surroundings on our family day together. Initially, we traveled outside of the state...New York City, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Maine. We have appreciated the rich history surrounding us. It is difficult to comprehend town established signs with years predating 1700. If the land could talk...I would listen for days.

Connecticut itself gives us a gorgeous campground located on a farm, orchards for picking fresh fruit and vegetable stands along the road, goat milk from the neighbor down the street, date nights and daughter dates for crabbing expeditions, the best ice cream, pizza, and seafood, and of course the beach 5 minutes away. A playland full of possibility for a family in need of refreshment and restoration on the weekend.

The girls and I relish in the opportunity for exploration. It is currently the middle of September, and we are still enjoying our beach time. The few people that are on the beach are very admiring of our four mermaids...the only ones in the water! While speaking with an older couple, I was telling them what a joy to stumble on Hammonasset Beach. They teased that I needed to keep their secret, so the locals can still have reign over their piece of the shore. We just recently discovered a lovely shoreline walk/hike that is a perfect distance. We try to visit a library a few times a week for homeschooling. The kid sections in these town libraries are more delightful to my girls than most playgrounds! They ask to go to the "train or castle or dollhouse" library.

Just in case I have not put enough emphasis on the beach...

I have been land locked for most of my life between my many years in Tennessee and Utah. I had no idea how refreshed by soul could be by the tossing of waves and the attraction my eye would have to water meeting sky! What an amazing and unexpected blessing to put our home on wheels and be near the ocean multiple times. The last two years have been a roller coaster ride of uncertainty, unknown, utter bliss, and lack of understanding. God has taken us on the ride of our life. And when I can come to the sea, all is well for that moment. It truly is a soulful experience for me. True rest...even when I take my four littles.

The community and culture has left an impression on us. We had a fantastic visit with another full time family that came to visit, but so far no bonds with anyone else in the area. However, we cannot get over the people here. The genuineness embedded in the culture...I have not encountered before. People talk to me all the time. And tell me exactly what they think, the good the bad and the ugly. If someone is having a bad day they do not mask it, and if they feel happy, it is expressed. Right now, I am sitting near two guys enjoying coffee after a run, and their conversation is the best. Just the expressiveness of it all. Not dramatic, just real feelings. I love it!

A lot of my experiences are seen through the lense of a mom with a tornado of children around me. I have a heightened awareness of my kids' behavior and whether they are disturbing others. I will not get into the commentary we have experienced in the South. But here, my children are embraced. People come up to us all the time and exclaim what a blessing 4 girls are and what a treat to have so many helpers. I hear many stories about their four or more siblings that they grew up with and the closeness and the importance of family. Even in restaurants we are spoken to with the connotation of our family being a gift.

There are many people that are interested in our travel story, we get less eyebrows raised and people that just want to know more. I was even introduced by a grandmother to her granddaughters that I was like "one of those cool HGTV people." Homeschooling, travel, marriage, family, life...it all gets discussed in our day to day stops by people who are more than willing to tell me everything and in turn ask about everything. It has been refreshing to be in community among the community.

Our family has all the strains of any other family, sometimes more with the extra hours that a traveling welder works and the intensity of six large personalities in a small space. I wouldn't call it an easy path or even simplified. There are still bills to be paid, chores to be done, RV and truck maintenance, lesson plans and meal plans, and tantrums to calm. This road that lead us to Connecticut is the same road that will lead us to places yet to be seen and touched. It gives life a little more flavor and excitement. And for this stay at home mom, it breaks me out of the mundane and offers newness and adventure.

The splash of the salt water on my littles' feet as they giggle and then plunge into those chilly waters without a care, as though they have to feel the beauty of the scene that they are in. Those same waters offering solace after a difficult day or harsh words as the waves lap the shore. And then, walking out in the salty air, in the dark, with the sand in my toes taking it all in with my love and a glass of wine. The drives lined with towering trees, now turning golden and ruby, proposing that we really could be characters in a painting. History coming to life in the aged architecture and historic villages replicas. The aliveness of the nearby cities and the delicious scent of local food. The grass stains on pants, and the apple juicy smiles of girls prancing through rows and rows of fruit trees. The laughter and "hey mom, look at me" as the imagination is sparked by creative library puppets and displays.

From our limited time on the road, New England is my absolute favorite. If there is such thing as a soul place...this is mine.

Blessed and Burdened

We just passed our 2 year "nomadiversary." We have ventured to the Northeast for a few months. Scott has started on another new job. And we are in uncharted territory (for us.) I like to think that we are inspiring others to go the road less traveled or take more risks, live outside the norm etc. I also have to be honest and say that our callings and dreams come with unexpected twists and turns and unforeseen outcomes. The effort to fulfill that calling and make that dream come true does not decrease when it finally happens.

 A blessing is defined as God's favor and protection, and a burden is defined as a heavy load.
That leads me to the question....Can God's favor come in the form of a heavy load?

As we continue to live "out of bounds" it seems more so than not, blessing comes in the form of a heavy load. On a particularly exhausting day in the RV with my 4 blessings and an equally exhausted husband, I took a drive and thought "what is the cure for being in a place that I have received all that I have prayed for, dreamed of, and waited patiently (okay, somewhat patiently) for? How can I be so blessed and yet so downtrodden?

Scott and I on the good days are looking at each other saying "this is difficult" "Or "this is challenging." On the bad days we are saying things a little louder and less kind. I remember when Shiloh was born, there was an adjustment period that I just did not understand. I was exhausted at a level that I could not comprehend. I feel like I am there again. It's not the sleep deprivation exhausted. It is the mind and body running at record speeds. I know Scott feels the same way.  He is coming through the door at the same time that I am holding up the white flag of surrender. And some days we handle it with grace and teamwork. And some days we compete selfishly for who is worthier of a break.

This is such a fantastic time in our lives. I know that we will look back on this with pleasure and adoration... "remember when?" "where were we when...?" "Can you believe that happened?" and all the weariness will be long forgotten. But at the same time we chose a difficult road (or it chose us).Scott's job gets us to all the new and exciting places, but then he has to go to work (usually long hours). So he misses out on a lot of what I get to experience with the girls. Also, one parent leading 4 children into unfamiliar territory is not quite the experience that it looks like in pictures.  But those travel days, even in separate vehicles have an air of anticipation like no other, and the time in between jobs is a reprieve that we were not getting with one steady job and living in one location. Hopefully the time in between jobs will get longer and longer as we figure out our finances.

Shortly before we left Utah, we heard a sermon about blessings. And it gave me a totally different perspective.  When praying for a blessing...the job promotion, the dream home, the baby, the acceptance into a certain college, or the ability to make a career change... it all comes with more responsibility, more work. We did get married, and we did have a baby (and then baby, baby, baby), and we did jump into RV life. And each addition or change has required more purposeful living and effort and increased our pursuit for a successful outcome.

There are people in the world that think running a marathon or some other big athletic endeavor is a goal worthy of pursuing. That is not my calling. You will not see me pursuing anything that requires running. But there is so much work and training that takes place for that accomplishment. And it hurts, and it requires time, and exhausting effort, setbacks and training and new habits. Our goal to experience life together outside of the status quo, to raise four kids to be adaptable and thrive in new and unfamiliar environments, to follow God's leading, and ultimately to bend our hearts towards our personal calling and refinement is worthy of pursuing. The difficulty is just a part of the process, not a burden that cancels out the blessing.

Afterthought:
I was struggling through the cohesiveness of my thoughts while writing this. I kept asking, "am I saying what I really want to say?" I was also surprised to see a draft saved about this very subject from six months ago. This has apparently been on my heart for some time and I really needed to hash it out. But it wasn't coming together the way I wanted it to, because my focus was on hard parts of the last week. Today, Scott and I were able to experience a wonderful day with the girls together, and I went back and edited quite a bit of my original post.

I have been annoyed by the range of emotions and heightened anxiety I feel with each arrival to a new destination. We have been trained by years of experience that you stick with one company and wake up to the same job every day. Our security has rested in that. Leaving a temporary job and wondering where we are going next still creates a churn in the belly(and a test of our faith). Getting to a job on time creates some hectic travel days (and we ask a lot of our kids on those days).  Then, Scott has to pass the welding test and getting set up on payroll takes some time. I immediately start to calculate what we have already spent from what we saved from the previous job, and when the next check is coming in. We have a pediatrician, a dentist, and mechanic to find. And we are in a very strange RV Park that is run very differently from any place we have been. Unlike some full-time RVers, we are not visitors to a new place for a week or two, we become part of the community for a time. Today, was the first day that we were able to take a breath and enjoy our new surroundings in a brief sabbatical.

It was the perfect opportunity to live out what increased blessing looks like in this season of life. I told Scott at the beginning that we needed to lower our expectation for the day (something to consider for every day), because we had two children that were already whining and complaining about various things. It took quite a bit of strategy parenting to get us to New York City on a long train ride with antsy children. We had to discipline, correct, raise our voices from time to time, but we were able to establish parameters and boundaries that lead to us all having a good time. Was there some whining, some pouting, and some disappointments? Yes. Is going to a packed, touristy location with 4 children very different from going together on a romantic vacation...YES! But what an incredible blessing to be enjoying a huge city and experiencing something new and exciting waiting around each corner. And there truly is nothing like seeing something through a child's eyes!

The Short Version...

We are currently vacationing while we are in between jobs. Fifth disease is working it's way through the kiddos. So I thought I would update the blog. To prepare for a summary, I looked back through photos, and I was shocked by all that has happened in a short amount of time. I have found myself a little unsettled with this lifestyle choice. We seem to have been moving at a snail's pace and Scott has been working difficult jobs with long hours. I have been envious of the families on the road showing their pathways through state after state and all the adventures they get to enjoy as a family. But on days like today, when we are slowing down because of unexpected illnesses and doing a whole lot of nothing, I have a wonderful opportunity to look back and reflect on it all.

We had our 4th baby and we live in an RV! If it seemed like a strange choice to move into an RV. Getting pregnant and having a baby while on the road makes it all the crazier. But in a great way! This was one of the more memorable deliveries. All the babies before were born in Utah, and things just did not go the same way in Tennessee.  This was my first elective induction because Daddy had a limited amount of time off. We were separated for over a month while the girls and I lived with my parents and Scott was in Georgia. Then when he arrived, no baby, no baby, and no baby. I wanted him to spend time with Johanna and I wanted us to return to Georgia as a family. Also, this was the first time the epidural was too late! We returned to Georgia with Johanna at two weeks of age...making a 7 hour trip, 12 hours with all the stops.

Beaver Run RV Park was the best place to be for such a time! I can honestly say that those first 3 months are a blur. Scott was working 12 hour days with a 3 hour commute. I do know we were well cared for by our friends and the kids were happily occupied every day. We had a fantastic Thanksgiving and Christmas amongst are small, closeknit community. I remember thinking this little RV is overrun with baby stuff although it was mimimal compared to my past babies. However, just a quickly as she arrived, she has grown, and baby stuff is beginning to be donated. It was a difficult day in March 2017 when we said good-bye to some lifelong friends that made a huge impact on us and our journey.

Before we left Georgia, we spent a few days in Tallahassee, Florida attending our first ever Full-Time Rally! Now, I am following so many like minded people on Facebook after meeting them at the rally. It hardly feels like a radical choice anymore. We also had the pleasure of meeting up with a family we met at Mountain Valley RV Park in Heber. We continue to stay in touch and hope to see them again very soon. After this rally, Full-Time Families has become the go to source of information for me. We have discovered RV life hacks, enjoyed the inside jokes, grown our community, and learned so much from others when it comes to caring for a family of 6 (especially a baby) on the road. One of the best things that was ever recommended was the Graco Travel Lite pack n play. It has been a life saver, or more like a space saver for JoJo's sleeping.

Unfortunately, shortly after we returned from the rally, Scott got very sick and was diagnosed with bronchitis. This lead to an ER visit and several urgent care visits across a few states. We went to visit with friends in beautiful Asheville, NC. We were surrounded by beauty, and Scott was wanting to sing and play guitar, but the lung issues showed up again in full force. We were again told it was bronchitis and Scott was given more meds. We made the most of the trip and then headed into Kentucky for a job. The kids and I were able to drive to see my sister and her family. That was a wonderful gift. Living in Utah did not allow for many visits for the kids with their aunt. However, Scott was just getting sicker. Based on our visit with a General Practitioner, it was decided that a lung specialist was needed to get a correct diagnosis.

Scott had been telling me about a job that was available in Memphis that would allow him to get training on a new welding process. I have to say I was completely 150% against spending a large amount of time in Memphis. I had lived in Memphis most of my life, we were just in Memphis to have a baby and spent 2 months there, I had spent a few days in Memphis already while the RV  parked in Kentucky, I had already experienced a hot, Southern Summer in Georgia, we were getting no where in our travels, and the list could go on and on. But after my little temper tantrum with the idea, I had to admit there would be wisdom in being close to family while working through health issues and it would be nice to be amongst the familiar for a bit.

We had the opportunity to put our 3 year old Selah in a preschool with her cousin for April and May. That ended up being a wonderful experience for Selah and her development. Jocelyn was able to attend ballet camp and loved it. Shiloh got to test out basketball and soccer to see which she preferred to play later on. We had a fantastic time with family and friends. Even more surprising was our experience at Jellystone RV Resort. The kids had such a fun time at all the events. Our neighbors were some of the best.I truly did not believe our family could encounter good people like we met in Georgia. I am now looking forward to the new experiences ahead with a greater enthusiasm for the people we have yet to meet. Although the good-byes were difficult at Jellystone.

On a less positive note, medical issues seemed to multiply. Scott received the proper diagnosis from the pulmonologist and is now following a protocol for asthma and allergies. Shortly after his last appointment, a bad infection developed in his arms from burns he received while welding. Selah was treated in the ER and then Urgent Care. I was sent for a breast ultrasound while breastfeeding which was inconclusive. So a follow up ultrasound and mammogram were done. The doctor concluded there was not an issue. A lot of our time seemed scheduled and exhausting.

Now, we are concluding our time in the South with my brother's wedding. A wonderful bow to tie up this visit. It is interesting that 2 years ago at this time we were packing the remainder of our stuff after a huge purging to move into our RV. Then this same time a year ago heading to Georgia and the unknown. We are deciding on the next move, and most of the anxiousness and anticipation of what's next is gone. This is our life now. The jobs are out there. The time to make money will get here. For now, we get to spend some much needed family time relaxing while we wait expectantly to hear what jobs are available and where. The down time is good. RV Life is good. The ups and downs of it all have taught us so much.

Most of all...We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

Pictures available Living Out of Bounds FB Group